Marriage is an incredibly big step. It is most definitely not taken seriously enough too, evidenced in the frequency of divorce nowadays. Love is unquestionably important, probably even the most important, thing but there is a hoard of logistics that go into a successful marriage and every aspect needs to also past the test of time. One of the hardest tests to pass in life. Views on things like kids, parenting and roles all need to fit in with each other.
It can be hard to cover everything that you should know about your partner beforehand and remember every important aspect that needs to be discussed. That's why this list of questions will help guide you to know everything you need to about your partner before making this big commitment.
Why Do You Love Me?
This question has been asked between lovers since the beginning of time, there's nothing original about it and it can even be considered a cliché but it does provide real information about your partner. It is both an easy and incredibly hard question to answer at the same time.
The kind of information this question provides about your partner is their psychological and social needs in a serious partner. If the focus of the answer is on your looks, possessions, or what you can materially provide your partner may lack authentic commitment to you.
What Are Your Goals?
More than just simply 'What are your goals?' you must also find out if they are willing to adjust those goals for the relationship. This question will reveal what priority your relationship has in the overall life plan that they have.
Takes Two to Tango
If the answer shows you that they are completely and wholly concentrated on their goals without compromise, there's an issue. It means they aren't playing fair an expect you to do all the adjusting to keep the relationship going while they chase their goals.
Do You Know How to Compromise?
Compromise is at the core of a good marriage. This is something that tends to be common knowledge but still isn't present in every relationship. If a person is unwilling to compromise and everything must be their way, it's not hard to see that things will go wrong.
What's Your Relationship with Your Family Like?
There are some similarities between a family relationship and a serious, long-term intimate relationship. As such a person's relationship with their family can also glean insights into how they will handle married life and the issues that may arise.
There is Too Good and Too Bad
As said a bad family relationship can act as an indicator of the issues that are liking to arise in life after marriage. Conversely, if someone is to close or engrained in their family, it may mean that the family receives priority over the marriage.
Why Do You Want to Spend the Journey of Your Life with Me?
This question establishes your partner's expectations. A bad answer here may not be the end either, it may just mean that you two should look into some relationship therapy in order to create a healthier expectation about your role in the marriage.
Can You Keep the Romance Alive?
This one is rather straight-forward but does not lack importance in the slightest. A relationship with a stale or missing intimacy is not a healthy relationship. Someone who understands the importance of keeping that romance alive will work at invigorating the relationship over time.
Can You Work Through the Rough Patches?
This question is aimed at finding out if the persons underlying personality is suited to marriage. Someone that hates conflict and will avoid it at any cost or cannot work out differences just doesn't suit marriage and will make a poor partner in the long term.
What Are Your Parenting Skills?
This one is only for the couples out there that intend to have children. Parenting is incredibly challenging and even more important. Once again, a person's family relationship and family experiences will heavily influence their answer and ability to parent.
Can You Commit to Grow with Me Instead of Away from Me?
This question can help you to see how well your partner understands long-term relationships. Their answer can let you know if they know the kind of constant maintenance a marriage needs and the nature of close relationships as well as what it takes for them to work.
Will You Continue to Grow in the Relationship?
A person who has no like away from the relationship becomes a stale and boring partner. However, a person that that has hobbies and interests outside of the marriage and continues with them will make for a more interesting and independent partner.
If My Life Is Cut Short, Will You Honor My Memory Forever?
This question can reveal the person's commitment to your relationship. Someone who will hold the memory of the relationship in their mind as a valuable experience, rather than closing the book on it entirely, is likely to be someone who will make the most of the time you have together.
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